There are so many faces and things appear in my mind now. Don't have special feelings while recalling about my past but i've sent an 'I Love You' message to those people whom i've thought about. Those people whom i truly cherish, and have gone through hard times with me. And for some who have gone overseas or those who did not receive my text, sorry but all of you have certainly been a part of my life and mean something to me, forgive me for being stingy, SMS is not a cheap communication tool when you are using it to contact so many people. hehe.
Anyway, i started thinking about what i've done in the past year. To be accurate, i've thought of my life in the past 2 years after graduating from Kwang Hua. Fell in love with someone i truly cherish and will never, ever betray, studied real hard during my SAM year with a number of friends including Michelle, Poh Li, Jessica, Ken, Wen Chian and etc who have ultimately changed my perceptions towards everything in life, especially Michelle, who has taught me a lot of things and gave me so much courage to keep my mind positive and Poh Li, who was a totally 'easy come easy go' person. However, sometimes i realise that my low self-confidence still exists due to my to-be-improved English command and my choice to maintain a low profile (not as of what i usually did during high school ) i changed from a loud and proud opinion leader to a good follower and team member, this could be mainly because my other half is an extremely zero-tempered person with high tolerance. Well, i began to train myself so hard that i'm able to control my temper so much better nowadays and take things easily, because life is about gives and takes and all those grandmother stories you've ever heard. Sometimes i met up with my favourite high school gang, Yin, who is going to be an air-stewardess in SIA very, very soon, (congrates my honey biatch<3 i feel proud of you because you are turning your dream to fly into reality) Jean, who is currently deeply in love with a swimmer who had once appeared in Digi commercials. Uh, you won't know how it feels when she always talk about his abs and handsome face especially while he is coaching during the swimming lessons. Horny little biatch peeping her own bf. (again, congrates, my honey bebe <3) Chinchin, who is always a tough person and care so much for me although she doesn't always mention about it. (Love you, honey sweetheart <3) and the guys, Khai Jian, the all-time favourite gossip-er, (appreciate that sometimes he still ask me out for movies and concerts during his STPM time) Xiang, the donkey that is considerate and nice to talk with, and Qi, who always give us aeroplanes whenever we ask him for outings. The best thing he knows about me is my boobs. Always tag me and Chin for nonsence on Facebook (Teehee XD). By the way, for so long i did not meet Ying, Cheng and Yi Jian already. Besides stalking them on Facebook, i realise that i'm too shy to take the initiative to contact them because they are the ones that can hardly come out as our timetable clashes so frequently. Not trying to act cool but here i would like to share a result of the test i took on Facebook. I realise that it is so accurate and after reading i feel that MAYBE this just all about me, me and the real part of me.
Amanda完成了"你有多能獨處"心理測驗，結果是獨處能力指數:95%.
你知道自己如果孤獨，也無法怨人，因為你總是在等別人靠近，很少主動迎合人群，基本上這樣的人不排斥熱情，但卻不能太黏;你們並不冷漠，當他人有需要時，總是有能力付出，卻在自己有需要時不懂得適時開口。這樣的你多半謙虛，你認為自己各方面不特別出色，但在他人眼中，有這種自覺的你，反而更顯得完美。這樣的性格也造一種普遍性的誤解，你認為你不特別受誰喜歡，也不特別對誰重要，實際上卻是你身邊的人自覺沒有什麼可以給予你，而不好意思接近你。你盡力不帶給人麻煩，卻成為你和人群最大的距離，幸好，你並不畏懼孤獨，也總能自得其樂，說你懂得享受孤獨也不為過。
Anyway, that doesn't mean that i'll always be like who i am right now. Maybe I'll change in the next second, who knows? But for one thing i can assure you is that i won't turn into a complete rotten egg because nowadays i'm so motivated to get better results in my studies. Money rules, that's what in my mind. Some people will laugh at me that people who work for money are the ones who will lose everything. Make money works for you. I gave them a smile. Just a smile, nothing else. I couldn't think of any way to make a lump-sum of money without so much risks. I'm not a person who is open to experience. I'm not a risk-taker and i dislike uncertainties. I don't like personal sales that's why so far i have not join any sales companies. Sometimes i doubt whether a Finance & Marketing major is suitable for a person that has a personality like this. It feels like i'm making the wrong choice, especially to study in Metropolitan. I don't regret because what is done, is done but sometimes you just can't control your mind from thinking on the negative side. Haha. It's just sometimes, okay. I'm not that passive anyway. Frankly speaking, i dislike group assignments because i don't really like to be a leader all the time. I'm just a normal student who is doing what i am supposed to do. Study hard. Aim for better grades. I don't like to be perceived as your fairy godmother who can grant you everything you can't get in life. I dislike to stay up whole night working so hard on something and yet you are on your bed, having your sweet dreams. Life is never a bed of roses. You just can't repetitively make the same mistakes everytime. Stand on your own feet, and please, stand in my shoes as well. Not being calculative but this is what life means. Perhaps, environment has changed me over the past 2 years. I don't find depending so much on others as interesting as playing see-saw on the seashore.
Okay. Stay cool. One thing i need to remind you readers is that i'm not always angry whenever i complain or i scold at you, it's just that i'm too precise in using the phrases that can evoke negative feelings. Haha. In other words i'm too straight-forward. Only in my blog la. Don't feel scared to talk to me next time although i know i'm so scary all the time. Anyway, i believe that our heart don't lie. No matter how hard a person tries to camouflage his true personality, one day you'll know who he really is without paying an effort to find it out. Victor said that he loves me because i'm kind. The reason sounds stupid, but this indicates that he did not intend to create effing beautiful stories to lie at me. Sweet <3 Hopefully our patience and passion for each other will last forever. Aha! Talking about passion, i realise that i've long forgotten about my passion for dance. I love dancing so much but i've stopped dancing for so long. People who look at my size often doubt whether i can really dance. What a sad thing to mention but i'm proud to be the most beautiful pig who is able to dance well. I plan to take on Modern Jazz classes end of this year so that i can be slimmer and fitter. Another reason is to improve my health because over the year i have been burning midnight oil and didn't really take good care of myself. I notice that i become so much older as there are signs of 'ageing' on my face and body. I can never do things efficiently the next day if i don't get enough sleep. My period never comes on time even i'm reaching the age of 20. (hehe. Shy) My double eye-lids begin to droop like a declining line graph. Aiks. I don't think i'll have a personal photoshooting session when i'm still young because i scare i'll scold at the photographer badly for capturing my flaky arms, fat thigh and round face. Poor photoshooting skills. It's such a waste for an actual beauty like me. ( you can't deny that i'm quite good-looking although i'm fat! I'm still quite marketable okay! Don't say behtahan, haha)
Alright, that's all for today! Not forgetting to thank Soon Siong, Guan Seong, my college friends and Victor's friends for the ktv sessions. That helps a lot in keeping me a normal person rather than a mad cow. I shall go to bed now. It's 3 in the morning. Let bygones be bygones.
[Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened! ]
Done complaining!
Please say Hi to me on my chatbox if you have really, really read what i've written.
Huuuuuu~ Life goes on...
I rock.
The End.
(1788 words)
(1788 words)
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